Nothing or Double

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 06:09:16 GMT

Non vereor ne illam me amare hic potuerit resciscere; quippe haud etiam quicquam inepte feci.

Hi ho.

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 09:13:06 GMT

Kurt Vonnegut died yesterday.

So it goes.

Vermemories: The fridge of friendship.

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 07:59:46 GMT

This is a story about how I came to be an accepted Fort member. It was in March of 2000, and the story goes a little like this:

It all begins with a young lass named Maggie Connor, who was in need of a ride. She was at the airport in Omaha, and Leland (who was infatuated with her at the time) was more than willing to pick her up. My best friend at the time Scott said that he would like to go and I decided to tag along. Little did I know that my nemesis Jon Egan would be accompanying us on this trip. I hated Jon for reasons that will be become clear in later Vermemories.

We were leaving from Scott's house some time in the afternoon and I though that I would show up a little early and see what the deal was. Upon arrival I notice that everyone is there, and that we will be leaving soon. Scott was gathering 42 oz. cups and ice for the trip, which I soon found out were for the bourbon and cokes that we would be drinking on the ride down.

We got ready and situated in Leland's minivan and got underway. Scott hands out the cups to Jon and I, and Jon readies the bourbon. He fills Scott's first, then moves to mine. "Say when" is all he says, then begins to pour. The cup keeps getting more and more full until I shout woah. Jon said "I said say when" to which I reply "oh, yeah." after 5 more seconds of pouring I say when.

The drive itself was uneventful, just idle chatter and joke telling. Jon was actually being friendly to me, which blew my mind, so I returned the favor. We stop at a rest area so three innebreated minors can stumble out and take a leak. At some point during urination, a chorus of "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts" breaks out, then we are on the road again. Some time before we get to the airport Scott decides he can't finish his drink, so Jon and I split it. When we get to the airport we have a little time left to kill, so Jon uses this to his advantage by mastering the skill of walking up escalators the wrong way. We eventually collect Maggie and her belongings, and head back to the parking ramp. In this 4 level ramp, there are many cars, but just one has snow on it. This is something that no one can understand, so I decided the best course of action with snow on a car is to build a little snowman with a cigarette penis.

It turns out the ride home was a bit of a downer because Maggie was a major buzzkill, but all the while Jon and I were talking and becoming better friends. He happened to mention that he needs a fridge for his room (The Fort) and I tell him that I have a mini-fridge that is just sitting in my garage collecting dust. We settle on 10 dollars for it, and head to my house. We get to my garage, and I give him the fridge. He gave me two tens, so I have to find him the next day and give him one back. Pretty much from then on I was in on all the madness that was "The Fort."

This is still one of the best days I have ever experienced, and I got not just a great friend, but a new way of life out of it.

RIP Curly

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 00:02:43 GMT

Aw man, Jack Palance died today of natural causes.
He was 85, or 87 depending on who you ask.

"Dear Lord we give you Curly, try not to piss him off."

Watch Me Bleed

Sat, 14 Oct 2006 06:09:57 GMT

Heaven comes to he who waits
But I know I'm getting nowhere
And all the deeds of yesterday
Have really helped to pave my way
Though there's no one near me now
How come everyone can touch me
You see the torture on my brow
Relates to neither here nor now
Watch me bleed
Bleed forever
Although my face is straight, it lies
My body feels the Pain and cries
Here the table is not bare
I am full but feeling empty
For all the warmth it feels so cold
For one so young I feel so old
Watch me bleed
Bleed forever
It's not allowed to be unkind
But still the hate lives in my mind
I'll make no noise
I'll hide my pain
I'll close my eyes
I won't complain
I'll lie right back and take the blame
And try to tell myself I'm living
And when it's all been said or done
Where do I go?
Where do I run?
What's left of me or anyone when we've denied the hurting?

Sat, 07 Oct 2006 16:49:28 GMT

Happy Birthday Dave!!!!

Alice in Chains

Sat, 30 Sep 2006 07:26:47 GMT

Hey, I ain't never coming
Home
Hey, I'll just wander my
Own road
Hey, I can't meet you here tomorrow
Say goodbye don't follow
Misery so hollow

Hey you, you're livin'
Life full throttle
Hey you, pass me down that
Bottle, yeah
Hey you, you can't shake
Me round now
I get so lost and don't
Know how
And it hurts to care, I'm
Going down

Forgot my woman, lost my
Friends
Thinks I'd done and where
I've been
Sleep in sweat the mirrors
Cold
See my face it's growin'
Old
Scared to death no reason
Why
Do whatever to get me by
Think about the things I
Said
Read the page it's cold
And dead

Take me home

Maybe Pantera

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 08:04:28 GMT

Empty and sweating
Head lying in your hands
Shaking in the corner
Done too much alcohol
Gotta get away from it all
'Cause it feels my blood is freezing
My self insanity has taken its toll
Frustration has taken its control

Now I'm far from home
Spending time alone
It's time to set my demons free
Been put to the test
My mind laid to rest
I'm on a psycho holiday

Shot down on sight
You are the target of attention
One woman here another there
You can't please all the people all the time
Can't tell the strangers
From the friends you know
Frustration has taken it's control

Now you're far from home
Spending time alone
It's time to set your demons free
Been put through the test
Your mind laid to rest
You're on a psycho holiday

I'm strapped in for life
Is this where I lived
Or where I died
You want my money
You take my space
My mind is telling me
To leave this place
My self insanity has taken its toll
Frustration has taken its control

Now you're far from home
Spending time alone
It's time to set your demons free
Been put through the test
Your mind laid to rest
You're on a psycho holiday

To whom it may concern....

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 07:46:26 GMT

Do I know the real you?

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 00:22:02 GMT

So, there's a chance that I will get to go to Greece next year.
And I'm going homefor Christmas. Only 3 days, but it's still Canada!

C'est tres bien, non?

The Longest Time.

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 07:52:53 GMT

Oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
If you said goodbye to me tonight
There would still be music left to write
What else could I do
I'm so inspired by you
That hasn't happened for the longest time

Once I thought my innocence was gone
Now I know that happiness goes on
That's where you found me
When you put your arms around me
I haven't been there for the longest time

Oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall
And the greatest miracle of all
Is how I need you
And how you needed me too
That hasn't happened for the longest time

Maybe this won't last very long
But you feel so right
And I could be wrong
Maybe I've been hoping too hard
But I've gone this far
And it's more that I hoped for

Who knows how much further we'll go on
Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone
I'll take my chances
I forgot how nice romance is
I haven't been there for the longest time
I had second thoughts at the start
I said to myself
Hold on to your heart
Now I know the woman that you are
You're wonderful so far
And it's more that I hoped for

I don't care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad
I think you ought to know that
I intend to hold you for
The longest time

The Cure

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 08:09:17 GMT

Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"The one that makes me laugh" she said
And threw her arms around my neck
"Show me how you do it
And I promise you I promise that
I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you"

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
"Why are you so far away?" she said
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you
That I'm in love with you"

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
Just like heaven

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 04:39:36 GMT

I wish I knew how I slighted EVERYONE!!!!!

Someone clue me in.

I'm sorry, I guess.

I'm getting better.............

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 05:35:04 GMT

Hello.

My new email address.

Sun, 11 Dec 2005 23:07:08 GMT

Hey all.
If you need to get in touch with me, my new email addy is "sillyrabbit@caribgo.com"

ttfn

Email

Sat, 03 Dec 2005 11:31:59 GMT

So,
USD finally decided to delete my email account.
I will get a new one soon, so I will post later about how to get in touch with me.

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 01:49:55 GMT

??????????

Sobriety in the face of insanity.

Sun, 26 Jun 2005 13:54:32 GMT

So I quit drinking.

I think I like where this is going.

Something witty

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 08:36:06 GMT

Well, Easter has come and gone.
I got some chocolates for cheap, so that was cool.
I also got to hang out with my parents, which is always cool.

So I guess a lot of crazy shit has happened since I last checked this little journal of mine.
I don't get to read this too often, so when I do, I have to wade backwards through two weeks of entries
by my friends. I really need to get the internet at my place, just so I can find out what the hell is
happening in my friends' life when it happens, as opposed to reading about it weeks later, and not being
able to say anything about it.

Oh well, I guess thats why there are telephones out there.

I'll be back in two weeks or so.

Thu, 17 Mar 2005 04:56:34 GMT

I don't think that I like Sioux City.

Or McDonalds.

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 18:58:12 GMT

Man, what a fucked up night.

Six long weeks

Thu, 03 Feb 2005 08:22:34 GMT

Well, it has been quite some time since I have last updated this little "diary" of mine, so lets see whats new.

I live in Sioux City now. I think that moving there might have been the worst decision of my life, but I am stuck there at least until May.

I still work for McDonalds. Also, that may change in May.

I am still usually lonely and miserable, but anyone who knows me knows that is the essence of me.

I still drink and smoke too much. That is something that I doubt will ever change.

I think that I might have sunken even deeper into movies and music, which I didn't think was possible but appearantly is.

And that is about all for my life, for the past four months or so.

Hey, at least you are not me...

2005

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 12:06:16 GMT

And the year starts off with an awesome "pppffffttt"

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 07:52:02 GMT

I'm starting to worry that maybe the alcohol is hurting things, not helping them.
And that just sucks.

Sat, 18 Sep 2004 09:41:31 GMT

Well well well.

It has been an interesting few months, since last you heard from me.
Interesting in that I moved to Sioux City.

I don't have a whole lot to report on. Everything is just about the same.

I have been going through some of my biggest mistakes/regrets recently, so if I have slighted you in any way in my life, and I haven't apologised, please let me know so I can make amends ASAP.

Thanks friends, and know I love you all.